Raising a son

This weekend's message on "Everlasting Father" was the most biographical that I have ever done. It was surprisingly less hard than many thought. I suppose this has a lot to do with the fact that I am "owning" my past. That is, I accept who I am and where I come from.

One of the biggest responses to my absence of a father is to make sure I pass onto my sons what only I can pass onto them. This is a toughy because I didn't have a dad do this for me. In the song "Father of Mine" by Everclear this line strikes at the heart of the issue:

"You would take me to a place inside
That is so hard to reach"

I believe that there is a place inside each boy that only a father can reach, only a father has the ability to connect at this level with his son. A part of my journey has been letting my Father in Heaven connect with me there in the absence of my biological dad.

As a dad though, I want to reach into my son's heart and connect with him. I want to help him transition to a man. One of the ways I am doing this is by covenanting with a group of dads to help raise our sons into men. We meet every Tuesday to share life and sharpen each other. This has been such a blessing to me.

Another element to our group is that we have designated certain ages along our boys' life to celebrate and mark with rites of passage. We have been deeply influenced by Robert Lewis on this subject. It is still a work in progress but it looks like this for us right now:

13 - retreat with all the boys, we give them a compass and talk about the definition of manhood as a compass for their life
18 - graduation from high school, probably something really cool like a sword
22 or so - college graduation
At their wedding - a family crest that we have yet to design and get made.

I'm looking forward to walking with my son through the various stages and helping him be a man.