Christmas Eve

It has been a great Christmas Eve so far. Yesterday we kicked off two of our 4 Christmas Eve services well. Some highlights for me:

• Seeing a Mom come to the morning and evening services. She did this because her grown children couldn't come to the same one so she came to both in order to encourage them to be there;
• Seeing a couple sitting together who were on the brink of divorce 2 short months prior;
• Seeing someone worshiping knowing that just this week she found out her mom will need hospice care;
• Experiencing worship of our King with my Suncrest family.

Reading Challenge for 2008

Previously I mentioned that one of my goals for 2008 was to read 28 books in '08. I won't decide on all 28 books because I need to leave room for some new releases and books yet to be determined for a graduate class I will be taking. I'd love to have some more suggestions, but here's the start of my list:

Go put your strengths to work by Marcus Buckingham

Going all the way by Craig Groeschel

Prayer by Phillip Yancey

Planting Missional Churches by Ed Stetzer

Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamont

Who moved my cheese by Ken Blanchard

Listening to beliefs of emerging churches by various authors

Vintage Jesus – Mark Driscoll

I became a Christian and all I got was this lousy t-shirt by Vince Antonucci

The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn

Glocalization by Bob Roberts

Words that Work by Frank Lutz

Emerging Churches by Eddie Gibbs and Ryan Bolger

Breaking the Missional Code by Ed Stetzer

Elders

I just have to say that Suncrest has the best Elders! We had an Elders meeting last night so it is fresh on my mind. I have served many churches with many good men serving as Elders, but as a group of men committed to do what it takes to see God work through Suncrest, our Elders rock. We talk about their responsibilities being to guard and guide the church and they do it well.

I'm so grateful to work in an environment with such outstanding leaders.

Raising a son

This weekend's message on "Everlasting Father" was the most biographical that I have ever done. It was surprisingly less hard than many thought. I suppose this has a lot to do with the fact that I am "owning" my past. That is, I accept who I am and where I come from.

One of the biggest responses to my absence of a father is to make sure I pass onto my sons what only I can pass onto them. This is a toughy because I didn't have a dad do this for me. In the song "Father of Mine" by Everclear this line strikes at the heart of the issue:

"You would take me to a place inside
That is so hard to reach"

I believe that there is a place inside each boy that only a father can reach, only a father has the ability to connect at this level with his son. A part of my journey has been letting my Father in Heaven connect with me there in the absence of my biological dad.

As a dad though, I want to reach into my son's heart and connect with him. I want to help him transition to a man. One of the ways I am doing this is by covenanting with a group of dads to help raise our sons into men. We meet every Tuesday to share life and sharpen each other. This has been such a blessing to me.

Another element to our group is that we have designated certain ages along our boys' life to celebrate and mark with rites of passage. We have been deeply influenced by Robert Lewis on this subject. It is still a work in progress but it looks like this for us right now:

13 - retreat with all the boys, we give them a compass and talk about the definition of manhood as a compass for their life
18 - graduation from high school, probably something really cool like a sword
22 or so - college graduation
At their wedding - a family crest that we have yet to design and get made.

I'm looking forward to walking with my son through the various stages and helping him be a man.

14 years and counting

Today, Sheila and I celebrate 14 years of marriage. I have a friend who always responds this way when asked how long he has been married: "10 great years...but 17 all together." I can say that we really have been married 14 great years. We certainly have had our ups and downs. Some years were definitely harder than others. But my perspective is that all of them...the ups and the downs...has made our marriage what it is today. I know I am so blessed to have such a great woman to put up with me and still be in love with me. We celebrated last night with dinner and a little year-end review and planning for next year. I know it sounds so unromantic, but actually it was all good stuff about what we want to improve upon next year.

For any guy reading, your wife will absolutely love you to pieces if you initiate these types of conversations. One thing I have at least learned in 14 years.

I'm looking forward to so many more years with an amazing woman.

Number 1 goal

I was listening to Mark Batterson on the way in this morning and this comment has stuck with me.

"The church can get a new pastor. My kids can't replace me."

There's always this pull away from the family because they typically are not urgent. Work, the house, the car, whatever is always more urgent than my kids. I've placed some boundaries in my life that has helped, but I need to take some other steps.

One of the steps I have taken and been pretty successful at is always taking my day off. And when I do take it, no work happens. That is not only healthy for me, it's healthy my kids. My kids need at least one whole day where dad is not distracted by work.

There are some other ways though I need to take some extra steps. Specifically in my evening routine I have not done well at keeping our dinner time sacred. Furthermore, the whole evening meeting thing can get a bit out of hand during some seasons. Got to work on that.

'08 Challenges

I'm preparing some personal challenges for myself for 2008. I'm thinking maybe 8 different challenges fro '08. Has a nice ring to it. By 8 challenges I mean 8 BIG challenges. 1 of the challenges will be in my reading discipline. I really feel like I fell away from as much reading as I need to stay fresh in ministry. So I'm considering 28 books for '08. I know, again with the 8 thing. But that would put me at 4 more than 2 a month and would definitely be a challenge for me. I'd love to do a book a week, but that is just not realistic for my schedule. So anyway, I'd love to have some suggestions. Are there books you have read that have gripped you? I think I want to include fiction on this list as long as it is quality fiction. I have my list started, but I want to hear from others to see what they would recommend.

Deadly Viper Character Assassins

Every once and awhile a book comes along that is as much fun as it is helpful. This is one of those books. Deadly Viper Character Assassins takes on integrity issues with Kung Fu fun. Both the authors are big fans of Kung Fu movies, as am I, so they use the whole motif to describe those character issues that every single one of us face. The short pithy, proverb like wisdom filled chapters may not go deep into the issues at hand, but they describe them with Biblical wisdom that will help start the conversation with other leaders and have fun doing it. More then that they proved some great practical steps to defend yourself and prepare for an attack. The bonus for me was interviews on these subjects with the likes of Dog the Bounty Hunter, Marcus Buckingham and Craig Groeschel. Check out www.deadlyviper.org for some great extra content. In the blog section there are two posts with an audio interview with Craig Groeschel I thought were gold.

Key statement in the whole book: Radical Integrity AND Radical Grace. Many times we expect integrity from others but want Grace for ourselves. The need is to pursue radical integrity, helping others do the same AND accept radical Grace for ourselves while offering it as well. I think this means holding ourselves and other Christ followers to high standards but offering restorative Grace when others fail and seeking it for ourselves when we fail.

Sounds of the Season

I have been unseasonably in the mood to celebrate all things Christmas. This has especially been true for Christmas music. So, I thought I would throw out my top 5 Christmas albums. Now understand, they will be anything but normal Christmas fare and I am NOT a Christmas music expert. These are ones that are on heavy rotation this year though. In no particular order:


Mindy Smith's "My Holiday" was a real treat for this year. Her delicate voice over holiday standards and original material makes me glad it is Christmas. I think her style can best be described as Sarah McLachlan meets Emma Lou Harris. Sometimes Jazz, sometimes almost country. I said almost. My favorite track is "My Holiday."

Relient K's "Let it Snow Baby...Let it Reindeer" is just pure fun. These guys know harmonies AND punk. Lots of fun with the kids on this one. I'm torn on favorite track. "I Celebrate the Day" is an amazing song, but "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is my favorite version of that song. Not for the faint of heart.

Barenaked Holidays is a classic by The Barenaked Ladies. These guys aren't doing anything anymore, but they made a classic with this CD. Check out "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings" for the best.

Sufjan Steven's "Hark ! Songs for Christmas" would be hard to classify. By far the least accessible. I'm not really sure I can even classify his style. I just like it. He's an amazing lyricist. "Amazing Grace" is amazing!

This compilation has more of the standard Christmas songs on it by Christan artists. Great arrangements by great vocalists. Jill Paquette's "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" blows the album away.



One of the things I do love about Christmas music is that most, not all, but certainly most is about Jesus. And so you have people singing about Jesus who don't' even follow him. I suppose some could look at that as a negative because many put out Christmas songs because it is easy to sell. However, what I see is that regardless of their motivation, Jesus is still praised.

BTW, all the artists above are Christ followers except The Barenaked Ladies.

The newest member of the family

The newest member of our family is Twyla Gamble. She is a cross between a Blue Tick Hound and a German Short hair. A local farmer's dog had a litter of 12 and was giving them all away. We have been looking for sometime for the perfect dog for our family. Twyla fits the bill. In fact, we have been promising to get a dog for about 2 years. So...maybe we weren't looking the whole time. Something about taking care of a puppy AND a baby just hasn't apealed to me. Oh well, who needs sleep. She will be great part of our family.

Drink Coffee and do good

If you know me very well at all, you know I'm a coffee addict, I mean affectionado. It's become quite a joke around Suncrest. I even had a guy harassing me after church the other day about it saying he couldn't believe I would be at Starbucks drinking "foo foo" drinks. I didn't tell him that I actually drink regular coffee there. I let him have his laugh.

Anyway, I stumbled upon this company last month called Land of a Thousand Hills. They are a coffee bean supplier that is ministry oriented. Essentially they roast beans only from Rwanda and every pound you buy between $2.62 and $3.00 goes back to Rwanda to help finance the coffee growers businesses.

Now you may ask why that is a big deal. Here's why. Rwanda is a country ravaged by genocide. The vast majority of women living there have been raped and left husbandless. In the wake of this tragedy, Land of a Thousand Hills is helping these widows support themselves by financing coffee growing businesses. You can read more about it here.

When I first heard about this I knew I had to at least try their coffee. This morning I'm sipping my first cup and it is excellent. And it wasn't anymore than what I was spending on coffee anyway. It's a win win situation in my mind. Initiatives like this are exactly what is needed in our day. A ministry like this is implementing the timeless principle of don't just give a man a fish, but teach him how to fish. And it's exactly what I believe God would have Christ followers doing.

Now back to my coffee...

Hypocritical - Unchristian trait #1

In David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyon's book "UnChristian" one of the top perceptions of Christians is that they are hypocritical. For decades I have heard (I can't believe I can even use that phrase) from non-followers of Christ that they don't want to go to church because there are too many hypocrites. This new research among 16-29 year olds shows that this perception is still true.

Now the question that begs answering is, "Is it true?"

Being a hypocrite basically means you profess to believe one thing and actually believe another. More to the point, you say you act one way but you really act another. One caveat I have to give is that as a teacher for me to teach against a certain action and actually struggle with it myself is not being a hypocrite. It's being human. But if I say I don't struggle with it when in reality I do, then I'm being hypocritical.

My own personal observations on hypocrisy among Christians is that the perception IS based on truth. Many Christians tend to preach and rail against certain behaviors while they may actually participate in the behavior. A prominent example:

• Christians preach against divorce and yet the divorce rate among Christians is actually slightly higher than the national average.

So what's the answer? Not preach and teach what the Bible has to say about sin...not at all. The answer is really quite simple. Be human and admit that you struggle. I have found this to be one of the biggest ways to help people "uncross their arms." What I mean by that is, when I am honest about who I am and where I struggle, people tend to drop their guard which gives me the chance to speak truth into their life.

Essentially it is not trying to appear perfect. When I look at Jesus, I won't see Him admitting that he struggles because He actually was perfect. You probably wouldn't have to hang around Jesus very long at all before you would see this. But he didn't waste his time worrying about what the Religious leaders of his day thought. The thought that you had to appear perfect was the teaching of the religious leaders of Jesus day. Jesus didn't bother trying to appear perfect, he just was perfect and acted himself.

A modern example to me is Craig Groeschel in his book "Confessions of a Pastor" where he essentially lays it all out there and admits openly what he struggles with. I love the book and love the effort to essentially say not all Christ followers are hypocrites.

I think we live in a good time when more and more Christ followers are holding up this value of authenticity and shunning the facade of perfection. We are embracing 1 John 1:8:

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."

A little visitor

We had a visitor yesterday. A scared little squirrel somehow found his way into our basement. How he managed to get in is still a mystery. Even though I pulled out all my interrogation techniques, he wouldn't crack. From what Sheila told me it was a scene right out of Christmas Vacation. You know the one...where the squirrel comes flying out of the Christmas tree scaring everyone to death. It so started her and my youngest daughter, Grace, that they went flying upstairs. I had to come to their rescue. I'd like to say it had a happy ending for the squirrel, but...I'll leave the details so as not to tick off the animal lovers. I have heard they make good eatin' but I'd rather not find out.

UnChristian

Perception is reality. Whether we like it or not, what others think about Christians, for them, is reality. This book based on extensive research by the Barna Group reveals what many Christians already know, Christians have a negative perception in culture.

The research behind the book studied the perception of 16-29 year olds and revealed that the majority of this age bracket believe that Christians no longer represent what Jesus had in mind.

This book confirmed statistically what I have heard and sensed for some time. We can have one of two responses:
1. We can grow defensive and refuse to listen to a generations' views claiming that they just don't understand because they are not Christians.
2. Or we can listen and seek to understand so we can meet people where they are at in their beliefs.

This does not mean we compromise our beliefs or morals but it does mean we seek to actually follow Jesus and his pattern of loving people right where they are at.

What I like best about the book is that it doesn't just present the problem, it also presents some solutions. I would like to take several posts and comment on the issues raised.

The big idea that I think we have to hear is this: To be liked is not the point. To accurately represent Jesus and love like He did is THE point. It always has been the point and always will be the point. Sometimes we just forget that and get too focused on ourselves choosing to create a safe club where we feel loved and are comfortable instead of reaching out and stretching ourselves so that the Gospel can be heard and seen in our lives.

More to come...